The Day I Found Nirvana.

So there I was…

HaHa. Teen Spirit is probably the *only* Nirvana song you know…

The time warp strikes again?!

My path to Nirvana (come along).

In the span of ten hours I ensued upon a Nirvana video-watching, Rollingstone article-reading, lyrics Genius song-interpreting journey. And in a matter of hours, I experienced what Nirvana fans experienced over years — the joy, excitement, relatedness to songs, grief, pain, sadness, and reverence for the band.

  • The Story Behind “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” This is the article that launched my Nirvana journey.
  • Best “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Covers. An article taking a look at the many covers of the song that shot Nirvana into stardom. **READER BEWARE** There are 20 covers! I resisted watching the original video until after I’d consumed each of the cover songs.
  • Ten Best Nirvana Songs (according to Stereo Gum). When I got to cover #19, the Dubstep Remix, one of the commenters remarked that anyone who actually liked this remix probably never listened to any other Nirvana songs. So then I googled and found the above linked article and went on to listen to what Stereo Gum considered to be the Top 10 Nirvana Songs, while simultaneously looking up the song meanings on Lyrics Genius.
  • Kurt Cobain’s Suicide Note. While listening to the Top Ten Nirvana songs and poring over the lyrics via the Genius, I was surprised to find a link to the suicide letter. Reading this note, brought clarity to Courtney Love’s name which I’d heard in the fuzziness that was my high school alternative/grunge music phase. I also read a bit about the Kurt Cobain suicide conspiracy theories.
  • Frances Bean Cobain. In the letter I read Courtney’s name — yep got it. But I’d never realized/knew/recalled that Kurt Cobain had a daughter, Frances. So I went to Instagram and scrolled through a few of her pics. Smattered throughout, there are the few pics she has from her short time with her dad as well notes and memes.
  • An Exclusive RollingStones Q&A w/ Frances on Life After Kurt’s Death. April 2015, 21 years later. Given the nature of my youth and having lost more than a few friends before the age of 30, the below quote from Frances resonated in a hauntingly beautiful way.
  • Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck. Described as the “most intimate rock doc.” As of this writing, I’ve only watched the trailer, but have heard that it was very well done, and I have to watch it — so I’ll watch it soon enough. Trying to decide if to wait and get past the intense emotional experiences I’ve had in the past 24 hours or to just dive right in and let it all happen…
  • One of Kurt Cobain’s Final Interviews — Including Extremely Rare Footage. I think I found this one after reading where Frances thought her voice is like Kurt’s and then I realized that I don’t know if I’d ever heard Kurt’s speaking voice. I mean, why would I? Before all of this, I didn’t really know who he or Nirvana was, save for “Teen Spirit.”

All in all is all we are.

“All in all is all we all are” — this repeated line of the song “All Apologies” resonated with me. It is an extremely complex Buddhist quote meaning “all things in existence are one.”



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Aegis Rey

Aegis Rey

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||majestic protector|| aspiring writer. bacon devourer. experience chaser. memory maker. universoul seeker.